Matt Hoffman (BB12) returns with his review of the latest Big Brother episode. You’ll find him here at BBN each Thursday & Friday all season. Read Matt’s past articles.
Before I begin this write-up, I would like to suggest that you make this episode into a drinking game. If you take a drink every time Shelly cries, you probably won’t make it to the end without passing out. I wish I would’ve known this in advance because I ended up sitting through this whole torturous hour…sober, at that! You can thank me later. Now – on with the show…
As with every Wednesday episode, we start with a reminder of Sunday’s HoH nominations. Daniele is very proud of her brilliant and adaptive strategy:
DANIELE: These nominations are perfect because they keep my options open. Plan A – nominations stay the same, Shelly goes home, I have completely wasted my HoH, and either Brendon or Jeff will kick my ass out next week. Plan B – CBS plants drama by removing Brenchel’s chips from the veto bag, they can’t play, and we backdoor Brendon. Plan C – Lawon returns with his special power to award me the $500,000 so that we can end the steaming hot pile of crap that is “Big Brother 13” right now.
Next up we see the first of many Diary Room sessions tonight where Shelly shows how completely delusional she truly is. In this particular snippet, she drums up some tears (DRINK!) and lets us in on her intense anger at all the “betrayal and lies” going on.
In order to get to the bottom of all the nastiness going on, Shelly decides to call out Brendon and Rachel in front of Kalia, Porsche, Jeff, and Jordan. This sounds like a good plan in theory, but it is slightly flawed by the mere fact that Shelly is actually the annoying epicenter of most of the duplicity going on in the house. Brenchel learned some things last season when they attended my “How To Turn Around a Public Accusation” seminar, and they end up making Shelly look both confused and foolish throughout this entire interaction.
She ends up going into the backyard to cool off the best way she knows how – by spewing sanctimonious B.S. like:
- “I have been loyal to a fault in this game.”
- “I have done everything straight-forward.”
- “I am done playing a game with people like that. It’s embarrassing.”
- “I hate people that lie.”
It ends with her in tears (real tears, not “Rachel tears” – DRINK!), which has me 100% convinced that Shelly is psychologically damaged beyond repair. The false sense of self-righteousness exhibited by her (and, more to the point, the fact that I feel she truly believes what she is saying) makes Rachel seem like a beacon of sanity by comparison.
The next day, the houseguests draw names for the veto competition. Shelly is fired up and ready for revenge!
SHELLY: Mama always gave me advice…if you want something done right, do it yourself. Except for winning stuff. Leave that to the vets.
Dani draws Jordan, Shelly draws Kalia, Adam draws Jeff, and Daniele’s “Plan B” is well underway as Brendon and Rachel are left sitting on the couches. To further isolate them, Dani chooses Porsche to host the competition…again. Porsche is becoming the “Julie Chen” of Wednesday night episodes since she really does nothing in the house other than host things.
Before the veto competition starts, America gets the chance to vote for what food items they would like to give the Have-Nots for next week. I encourage all of you to contribute. It’s easy! Just text your selection to 81818. Here’s the options, in case you missed it:
- Text 1 for “Beets and Bologna”
- Text 2 for “Dates and Durian”
- Text 3 for “Hard Boiled Eggs and Jalapeños”
- Text 4 for “Keith and Kalia”
The veto competition is a large game of cornhole. They could have just called it “bag toss”, but then that would’ve defeated CBS’s entire purpose for even having this game in the first place, which was to extract Diary Room soundbytes with sexual innuendo in them. It takes all of ten seconds after announcing the competition before we hear that “Jeff is really good at cornhole”. Dumbledore is finally vindicated as we continue on with a shot of Jeff lovingly slapping Adam’s ass and Jordan telling us about Jeff’s affection for boy bands.
This is the standard “prize competition” that Big Brother does every season where each player that gets knocked out grabs a prize, and the next people knocked out can steal it away if they choose. Shelly, full of inspiration and determination from her “mama’s” quote, completely misses the ENORMOUS target altogether and is knocked out first round. Her prize is the power of veto. Round two knocks out Jordan who receives 24 hours of solitary confinement and a phone call from home. Despite Jordan wanting nothing more than to talk to her family, she gives this to Shelly in exchange for the veto. Shelly cries (DRINK!), and Jeff says that he’s not surprised because Jordan always wants to make other people happy. In this case, she made eight other people happy for a full 24-hours by locking Shelly away.
Kalia is knocked out in round three, and she gets a Caribbean vacation. Brendon and Rachel sit on the sidelines (not fully understanding that they aren’t competing anyway, so it doesn’t matter what Kalia does) and express their disappointment at her keeping the trip because it could’ve been their honeymoon vacation. Later on Kalia tells them that she only got so excited because she thought it said “Caribbean chicken” and not “Caribbean vacation”, so she just gives the trip to Brenchel anyway. At this point everyone playing wants Adam to win the veto and use it, so Dani throws the next round and gets a veto ticket, then Jeff throws the next round and gets $5,000. Adam “wins”, trades his prize (the “HUMILITARD”) to Jordan for the Bacon Power of Veto, and then (no surprise) screams really loudly for a while.
After the competition, Brendon and Rachel scamper into the storage room to sulk about being backdoored. Rachel, never able to fully actualize that she is not in a perpetual state of power in the house, keeps telling Brendon that she is going to choose to go up as a replacement instead of him. Brendon just continues his lifelong exercise in patience as he fruitlessly tries to make Rachel understand that it’s not their decision.
Meanwhile, Jordan gets called into the Diary Room to get her “Humilitard”. Big Brother called this “the most humiliating unitard to date”. I think, however, that it’s “the most appropriate unitard to date”. Adam says the best part is watching the propeller on the cap spin around when Jordan walks. Brendon could give you the full “rocket science” description about how air circulates through her empty head, under the hat, and up through the propeller blades, but that’s all too much for my small brain and small feet to comprehend.
Up in the HoH room, Dani and Kalia celebrate the post-veto turn of events:
DANIELE: We are totally 100% golden.
KALIA: Yay!
DANIELE: I feel so accomplished.
KALIA: Me too.
DANIELE: But you didn’t do anything.
KALIA: What are you talking about? I just ate an entire frozen pizza all by myself!
DANIELE: Ummmm…I was kind of talking about how we’re going to get Brendon out this week.
KALIA: Oh. Yeah. I guess that’s pretty neat, too.
Back downstairs, Shelly locks into her solitary confinement room, complete with padded white walls. It looks like Jordan’s “idiot unitard” wasn’t the only spot-on appropriate punishment. Shelly says that “nobody wants to be locked in solitary confinement”, but I disagree. Because after sitting through this season thus far, I oftentimes wish I was locked up. Shelly’s punishment carries over to her family back home as they are forced to talk to her for ten minutes while she sobs incessantly (DRINK!). In all seriousness, it’s very nice to see that Shelly gets to re-connect with her son and her granddaughter for a bit. [What’s that?…Wait, WHO are those people???…No?!…Hold on – how old is she?…Okay, nevermind – let’s just move on…]
Finally, it’s time for this week’s veto ceremony. After spending 52-minutes hearing about how Brendon is getting backdoored this week, Daniele spews some phony Diary Room segment contemplating how difficult it is to decide who she should put up as a replacement nominee. Somehow Adam manages to not scream like an attention-starved fool during his veto speech, but he does make a point of justifying using the veto on himself by saying that he “worked really hard to win the competition”. Yeah, Adam – great work standing in place and throwing a total of five beanbags, three of which you didn’t even need to toss since everyone else was forfeiting and trying to get you to win. He’ll go down as one of the greats, for sure.
Dani needs to choose a replacement nominee, but not before unleashing another TWIST on the house! It’s actually just a metaphor about zombies, but that doesn’t stop Porsche and Jordan from darting out of their chairs and locking themselves in the storage room for safety (just in case). Brendon gets put up, and Shelly says that Brenchel will promise their firstborn child to whoever will vote to keep Brendon in the house. I think they’d have a better chance if they instead promised to sterilize themselves so that there never was a firstborn child. Brendon would definitely have my vote then.
(DRINK!)
For more of Matt Hoffman’s ramblings follow him on Twitter @HeadOfHoffhold and stop by www.TheGremlinCave.com. Also, be sure to check out Matt’s video recaps of the Big Brother season on www.RTVZone.com (@RTVZone).
All I say is goodbye brendon and go jj!
Good bye Brendon for sure and you’re right go JJ. I hope Poshe goes next so on her way out the door she can tell Rachel that she’s going to the jury house to go after her man.
Porshe and Brand in the JH. After he showed his tallywacker on Skyle to a stranger. Rach is not going to like that. So if any female goes up next week Rach just may push for herself to take them over so she can go F Brand in the JH. THERE IS A REASON WHY WE HAVE BIRTHCONTROL B&R
Go team Rachel+Dani… since now they both have common targets/enemies. jj are dirt bags. hope jeff goes next
me to, Jeff is going to the jury house next week
How are J&J Dirt bags?
Did you actually watch the show last night, Kelly? Or the entire season at all? Jordan is literally the nicest person you could meet. She is honest, down to earth, and kind. She gave up talking to her family so Shelly would be happy. Jordan is a genuinely good human being, so lay off.
kelly that wasn’t nice! JJ are playing this game with the hand they were given if the other vets would of stuck together than they would of stuck with them. you have to ubderstand their in this house 24\7 so tempers will fly sometimes. But at least they act like human beings instand of 2 year olds like r\b.
You are just so flippin funny! Loved it as always.
i know brendon will go home BUT REALY SHELLY GOTS TO GO,it(she)& the whole damm game makes me sooo MAD,i dont even realy watch any more,Just read the spoiler.Until something happen to catch my intrest again???BOARING!!!!
Did kalia really give brenchel them the carib vacation ?
Are you serious? Kalia can’t stand Brenchel so why on earth would she ever do that?
Not at all. It was just a joke.
@ Matt (BBN)…any idea on what BB will do to make up for the one week of eviction they did not have with Evel Dick leaving the game the first week? Do you think they will eliminate the Double Eviction / Fast Forward to make up for it? This would make sense with all of the HG’s trying to figure out how to make it to the final 4 or 5. This could lead to a little more mystery as to who the HG’s will try to evict.
@Matt – I knew it was a joke – I just couldn’t believe that King didn’t.
Matt, I like you so much better here than I did when you were in the house.
Dennis, they already did that when they brought Brenda back.
um does a returning evictee sound like a solution to the prob of having dick leave or am i just in my own world on that one
I say just give Dick the 500,000 even though he left the first week. Dick is awesome.
Another spot-on, hilarious piece, Matt. Agree with you on all points. I’m hoping a miracle will occur and J&J will wise-up and get rid of the psychotic Shelly by tonight. Terrible game play on their part to get rid of Brendon instead of Shelly the snake.
Jeff need Brendon to help get further in the game and help get rid of wild eyed Dani
TRUE why are we the only ones who can think how to win the game. How can J/J make it to the end w/o Brendan and Rachel keeping Dani at bay. Im wondering if the Double eviction is next week and thats why they came out with a vito ticket, but she will still have to win the veto to pull her A$$ off the block.
Did anyone else notice that Keith, Cassi, Dominic and Lawon were evicted in that order? They were originally from “The Regulators” alliance. Worst alliance in BB?
Well technically Brendan was evicted before Lawon but it is funny that the Regulator alliance were all picked off like that. It is even funnier that no one in the house even knew they existed lol. So, I agree, that has to be among the worst alliances in BB history.
Nothing will ever rate a close 2nd to this. This is not amongst but the absolute worst faction ever and I mean ever in the history of television.
As usual, this was hilarious. Can’t wait for more tomorrow!
Matt, you sound like you might just be a little jealous and upset that you did not win BB when you played. Of course you WOULD know everything there is about how to lie. Just let these contestants play and if they make a fool out of themselves, SO WHAT?!?!?!?! For what you did in your season saying your wife was dying, you will probably be known as the biggest ASS of BB History. Someone get this idiot (Matt) out of the public eye. He does not deserve anything.
I’d wager 12+ HGs from every season of Big Brother have been “a little jealous and upset that [they] did not win BB.”
no way!! Many of us love Matts blogs. He is very funny and entertaining.
I think you should be banned from commenting on Matt’s column since your comments are rude and uncalled for. Perhaps you should read the commenting rules, that is – if you know how to read.
Really Jimmy… maybe you just need to get a life… just saying…
Are you KIDDING me!!! MATT is absolutley hilarious. He has better insight on this than any of us do… He was funny in the house and so what if he made a lie that he thought would get him farther in the house, you probably would have done the same thing! And, I sure when he got home he probably heard about this for months… sooo give it a rest Jimmy
Why are you even here ? It wasn’t a lie I would tell but it’s his wife and that was between them. You better believe I would be jealous if I had to walk out of a long game with nothing and you would be too And I don’t think Matt was the biggest ass. I could name a female that threw her mike in the pool that was totally biotchy
Matt was my favorite from his season. I was really upset when he was evicted. I wish they would of brought you back this season instead of Brendon & Rachel.
I am a big Matt Fan!!! Regardless of his lie last season. He did what he had to do.
Im a big Matt Fan too!! He did what he had to do last season, and BB is all about lying to get further in the gamd, unfortunately. He played a very good game. I just found your site, and I love it! Maybe you will have a chance to play again Matt, and you can be one of the Vets. :-0) Im rooting for Dani, Kalia and Porche!! I love Jeff and Jordan, but they had one BB already. I guess we shall see. Looking forward to tonites episode and see if Brendon gets evicted. My fingers are crossed. Then, Shelly needs to go next!
I agree with Jimmy 100%
Go Matt, not your best effort, but still okay.
LOVE IT!!!! Matt, you crack me up. I was in tears * DRINK* I was laughing so hard. Yes, shelly is psychologically damaged & extremely delusional. I was a bit upset that CBS didn’t show Porsche’s psycho ‘prank’ that she got away with. Maybe they’ll show it on eeviction night…right b4 sending her out the door inabother twist! LMAO YEAH RIGHT! One can dream! Anyway, as always, LOVE your post this week…even the jabs at Rachel & Brendon which you do with so much humour & tact !Keep up the great work!
LOL Matt your update is priceless to funny.
“It’s very nice to see that Shelly gets to re-connect with her son and her granddaughter for a bit” How do you come up with this stuff..so funny
Really ~ Shelly looked like a lying fool calling out Rachel in front of her lovers JJ. She is pathetic. I can’t understand why a woman her age would filp out over a 25yr old over a game. Shelly is clearly a stalker of JJ and will sale her first born for a seat next to them anywhere. She is bananas and Rachel handled herself the best I have ever seen her in the heat of an arguement. Brendon was about to make me come unglued lying there with locked lips. He is always trying to diffuse things but in this case Shelly threw down first so by all means call her out. Brendon is gone this week. Shelly needs to follow him and JJ!!!!
And ? about Brendon not backing Rachel up about the offer Shelly made them of final 3 when he was right there. I would not b mad if she won and left him with the money. He said he did not want to get involved? He threw Rachel under the bus and I do not understand Y.
I about came unglued when Brendon acted as though he did not want to back up Rachel. I am not a Brenchel fan but when someone throws down the gauntlet like that on your significant other you have to immediately back them up. There is no way she should have had to say to him more than once to tell the truth. Even if Rachel was wrong he should have backed her up and discuss it in private later to make sure they were on the same page. I have no love for weasels!!
The guest r all socializing except Brenchel. Jeff is actally entertaining when he is not sulking about being nominated. He would be a great host of a show. Jeff is funny and all the ladies like him, Jordan better watch ouuuut. Jeff could win if he made it to the end. The women are enamored of him. I think that is why Kalia broke down when he was mad at her. If he is not nominated next week Dani’s and Kalia r in trouble cuz Jeff will definately put them up.
This really is the biggest collection of idiots I’ve seen on one show. I got started late watching BB, (Evil Dick was my first look in). He played such a great game everyone else pales in comparison. I’m surprised they haven’t brought back Chiema since she was the dregs of the year she was on. CBS should at least TRY to find nicer people (I don’t include Jordan as a not nice person). They all lie but that’s the nature of the show. You tagged Shelly spot on. I do believe she can’t tell the truth from a lie & R & B don’t remember or whatever!, as to call her out on the lies. Your comments Matt are really more entertaining than the show it’s self. Kudo’s to whoever hired you for this gig.
People need to stop giving Evil Dick so much credit. Evil Dick did not play a great game!! If it wasn’t for Eric being America’s Player, he would not have made it far. America voted that they keep him because America loved the drama. Eric would not have kept him if he didn’t have to do want America wanted!!
So Kathy I guess the deals Dick made & challenges he won meant NOTHING! He played a great game & kept his promises to boot but that doesn’t mean a thing, right?
What is with the people this season on Big Brother. This game is about making deals, breaking deals, lying, cheating, mind-games and whatever it takes to out smart the next person to get to the end. They people act like it is confession time in the Big Brother house. Is this church or a game. What a complete bore and a waste of a season on Big Brother. Never confess to anything ~ really these people all need to learn how to play this game!!!!
There r different ways to play the game. Some people float and don’t have to do the things that u say. Sorry if u have received your debachery quotent.
And what’s with everybody complaining that Shelly or anybody for that matter lies about anything. It wouldn’t be BB if people did’nt lie, cheat, steal ect. to get to the end. If they all played nice there would’nt be a show. This season is boring enough without taking away all the backstabbing.
mrbubba, we expect lying…what we don’t expect are liars who appear not to KNOW they are lying!
mrbubba,
We all know the game is played with lies… what the problem I have with Shelly is she is the only one I can think of that will lie in the DR… I think she is starting to believe her own lies or she has just told so many that she cant keep up with the stories…
Just my thoughts…
i honestly think shelly does’nt remember making the deal i don’t think she would have dragged portia in for a confrontation otherwise also dani has made deals with everyone and floated from day one
These episode recaps are great. The humor captures much of what I say as I watch the show, which is painful this year.
I have to admit I hated the lie you did, but it was great game play at the time.
You should host a BB episode watch in Elgin. It would be awesome!!!!!
Shelly is a piece of work. I almost wish I could be there when she watches this season, and is reminded of her conversation with Brenchel about a final 3 with them. I can’t stand Shelly for several reasons, but the biggest reason is… Leaning me towards Brenchel’s side..
I agree, have never been a Brenchel fan, but with Shelly spewing hateful lies, makes me lean the same direction as your leaning…
Jeri I 2 would like 2 c Shelly explain her behavior and betrayal, especially to Cassi. She will either lie and make herself seem more crazy or tell the truth and admit that staight shooter routine was gameplay and she’s a liar. But how can she explain the confessional lies, thats what makes her seem crazy. She knows there r cameras everywhere so does she not remember? Lying in the confessionals was not game play becasue only America and production sees them so what was tha about. I would think twice about her if I employed her. She either has an integrity problem or a mental problem, neither of which r good. The way Shelly talks I do not believe she thinks there is something wrong. As least BB has uncovered an issue that Shelly may not b aware of. She can watch and work on it.
Think about what you just asked. America’s Vote is your answer.
No hg knows how much of their footage will air.
She is banking on America liking her and helping her in any vote that we get to participate in.
It does make me wonder if she just forgets that BBAD is so popular.
Maybe she thinks CBS only….. non blog reading viewers will control America’s Votes for the season.
Congratulations! SAVE BOOKIE!
Matt: Loved your comments… I just dont understand, with the exception of the “calling out” of Rach by Shelly, Why CBS has not shown that Shelly has been playing the entire house? My thoughts are she is the biggest floater of all times, and she has worked hard for that title! She even goes so far as to LIE in the DR… this lady must be a shrewd business women to deal with! So explain to me why everyone calls Rach a lier but Shelly can get this far in the game and no one with the exception of Bren and Rach call her on it?
How can she be both playing the whole house and the biggest floater of all time. Floaters don’t play anybody. They don’t play at all, like Kalia and Porshe and the late Lawon.
Morning Mrbubba,
my idea of a floater is someone who will play one side of the house or the other, whomever has the power, someone who will lie to continue their game, an not win any comps
I don’t know why everyone is so in love with evil-Dick. He is not that much of a great player. I believe his looks just intimidates other players in the first place. He is not that smart or some kind of genius. I hated him then and I sure hate him now.
His looks? Really? He had/has the biggest set of BALLS in the history of BB. He scared the house into submission. That waas great game play.
Matt you are hysterical and always enjoy your comments. Keep them coming.
Great commentary, Matt. That was so funny. I was looking forward to reading your take on last night. You may have been kidding about the Brenchel chips not in the bag for the POV comp., but I and others did think it was very suspicious that neither Brendon or Rachel were picked out of the bag. Anyway, always enjoy reading your excerpts!
What they do is put some kind of glue and stick the chips they dunt want at the bottom of bag.
i hope BB cleans that poor fish tank before all the fish get sick and die…..
I dont know what show you are watching, but BB is about lying, deception, back stabbing, etc. You act like shelly’s “game” is a shocker. That is her “game”…at least she has one. Kalia is attached to dani…porsha just sleeps…lawon just made funny DR’s. Get some thicker skin folks…..It’s a GAME!!!!!!! Integrity not necessary!
I like think like Kalia like must like go like, because like if like she like doesn’t like I like will like throw like up like !!
You noticed!
Plato I “LIKE” IT
like right
Like, OMG, like I genuinely like didn’t like think anyone like seriously like noticed like how often like Kalia & like Daniele like say the words like “Like” “Seriously” “Genuinely” and like “Literally”. Like seriously, genuinely, like literally I like really didn’t and blah blah like blah.
If Shelly ‘loves’ her daughter so much, what on earth possessed her to leave her daughter and go on a reality show for 3 months??
Its not like she went to Africa to save some dieing babies. Cut the crap Shelly you’re a chain smoking sun burnt junky!
Right on the money! I could never have left my children for that long a time, nor missed their first dat of school.
Her habits of smoking, lies and telling everybody in the house she has their backs is (I hope) going to bite her on the A$$ real soon!
She smokes like shes smoking sompthing else, the way she holds it & how deep she draws, maybe thats why shes right behind Rachel in the (needs meds) line
please…..BB clean that poor fish tank before all the fish get sick and die…..
K&P are nothing but eating a napping machines… Lazy when it comes to cooking and cleaning to boot!
Dani is only keeping Shelly around to keep the kitchen and bathrooms clean… She has even stated this a few different times.
A… not sure what I think of his game, as he hasnt had one to this point…
Matt, you were an arrogant moron during your season and got played big time. Now to see you stoop to this level of bitterness for entertainment’s sake is a new low even for you. Remember playing the sympathy card by faking an illness to your wife? What a jerk you were last year and what a jerk you continue to be. Enjoy your loser life moron.
I watched last season too. I totally agree with you!
Do you really think Matt loses sleep over what you think ?
Maybe not, but he lost big time last year and for a good reason.
Here’s a thought – don’t read this blog if you dislike Matt SO much! I sincerely like though that you think you’re somebody to be telling others what their ”low” is. Enjoy your life trolling message boards hiding behind an avi. Hello, pot! Meet kettle!
Barb, did you just use up your thought for the day? Don’t hurt yourself thinking, I doubt it is your stroung suit.
Well, spelling clearly isn’t yours. Stick to being a keyboard warrior though and let me know how it works out for you. It’s so great to know that there’s people like you that feel the need to waddle themselves over to the computer and tell others their faults – gameshow contestants, nonetheless. But please, continue your time droning on someone that you despise oh so much. You’re amusing the hell outta me.
Simple minds…simple pleasures.
so do we have two groups of 4 now?
Dani, Kalia, Porche,and Rach
Jeff, Jordon, Shelly, and Shelly
shelly and Adam—oops
you were probably right the first time. shelly has two personalities.
Yup shelly walks ,talks and looks like guy .oh she lies so much she belives her self. she should be the one leaving tonight,
I’d bet no. Rach is gonna be pissed that “her man” got the boot and all gameplay is going to go right out the window (maybe to join her sanity). She is going to target Dani until either she gets evicted or Dani does.
I think she is going after Je&Jo and going to team up with Dani
Great recap Matt. It had me laughing. Really you should do a voice over commentary on this season it would be hilarious.
Matt i found it ironic that u mentioned ” CBS plants drama by removing Brenchel’s chips from the veto bag,” Cause thats exactly what I was thinking when neither Brandon or Rcahel got to play Veto.
CBS so wants Dani to win. Read somewhere that she is close to some of the staff. Some how hope Rachel takes out Dani.
What’s up with comatose Shelly staring like she’s a zombie? She looks like she’s aged 20 years..must be all those cigs and lies.
Unless Big Brother throws another curve ball into the game, I am going to stop watching. It is getting to be to predictable. Bringing Brendan back was fun, brought a little excitement, but now BB needs to throw a curve ball to put some sweat in the Floater’s butt’s. Shelly, Adam, Porsh, Kelia.. the four of them have floated their way through while the Vets kill each other. Kelia proved she can’t handle HOH. If you drank for each time she cried that week.. you wouldn’t have had a sober moment.
OMG… Kalia would hear “Caribbean chicken” instead of “Caribbean vacation”… LOLLY :O
Does anyone remember the Diamond Power of Veto? It was a crappy, thrown together, afterthought by CBS to keep a certain someone in the house. It fell apart.
My point… to keep viewership up, twists are put into play as needed. It seems to be time for another.
spot on Matt!! I too noticed how Adam, in order for him to win 1 freaking competition, half of the competitors had to throw it!! the sad thing, like Shelly, he pretty much beleives himslef
Anyways, I’m team Dani even though she was on brain control pills last week and ofcourse blaming the outcome on the unfaireness of life and how the universe is conspiring against her but I still think she the only one who deserves to win
Get rid of Brendon tonight and then get rid of Jeff. Rachel falls apart without Brendon so she will not be a factor and Jordan is so attached to Jeff (she would not make a move without him) she will be a non factor as well. Shelly should go next and then let the rest of them fight it out to the end. Go Newbies Go (Dani should not make it to final 2 but she is interesting in her play and will help some of the Newbies get to the finish line.
Honestly, Rachel needs mood stabilizers, and Brenden needs to go to therapy. My favorite part of the week was when he gave Jeff a speech about not being so “condescending” to Rachel. Um, Pot? Kettle calling. I think the next reality show R/B will be on is Cops, for domestic violence.
Best Matt article ever.
How convenient that for the first time Brenchel didn’t play in Veto. Hm.
OMG, Shelly is SUCH a biznatch! I agree with everything Matt said about her!
Obviously she is going to deny it to Porsche, okay. But to further call Rachel out, say she’s a liar, say she’s making stuff up, say she’s sick of playing with people like this, etc, WOW!
And what Jeff said about he knows what they say behind their backs and he just puts on a happy face…WOW. First of all, JJ have thrown Brenchel under the bus to keep themselves safe too.
And 2nd, if it weren’t for Brenchel Jeff’s ass would’ve been out the door weeks ago.
And both JJ know this. GAWD! Get Jeff’s arrogant douche bag ass out the door PRONTO!
I remember Jordan asking “I wonder who America loves and hates this season, how they feel about us?”
I can’t wait for JJ to find out how people feel about them this season.
If anyone in the house really believes Shelly over Rachel, they’re idiots.
Lets look at this. Brenchel, who are usually drama queens/kings, were perfectly calm and flabbergasted at Shelly’s claims. Did you see the look of genuine confusion on Rachel’s face?
And then we have Shelly who is getting all dramatic with the tears, standing up and shouting at Rachel, calling her names etc…
I can’t wait when Shelly gets out and sees the episode and finds out the producers showed us all the clip proving Shelly’s a bold face liar, and that she clearly did initiate a convo asking for a final 3 with Brenchel.
What REALLY gets me is the fact Shelly continues the act in the DR. Serious? You think you can fool US, who have been watching from the outside and sees everything? What a horrible liar and a stupid biznatch.
Didn’t Shelly say in the beginning how she was concerned what Josie will see of her in the game?
Josie is asking right now, “Why is mommy lying so much?” Shelly plain and simple didn’t anticipate the producer showing us that black and white clip, and I love it…I just love how she continued the act in the private DR. What a biznatch.
As Matt said though, at least Shelly is coming off as a pyscho, crying in the DR and lying when we all know what Rachel told Porsche is true.
Shelly, Jeff, etc are gonna feel like FOOLS when they get out and watch.
Spot on about Shelly and Jeff! They need to go next!
Why all the Jeff haters…? He’s a nice guy, and handsome, too.
This blog needs like button after each comment!!! I couldn’t agree with you more. Shelly is a psychotic biznatch!! Too bad it’s Rachel that, once again even though she’s being honest, look like shiznit to the other HG’s. GRRRR. This show is so fake now. The 1st few seasons was actually a reality show but the last few seasons are just a bunch of crap. I still can’t get over the fact that CBS allowed Porsche to get away with her prank.
Was it a deal or merely a question?
I was referring to the talk Shelly had with Brenchel.
Now I see how right Brendon was right before…
When he said the house is filled with such horrible liars, backstabbers, and “bad people,” and thats why they have a hard time getting along with anyone in there.
I can TOTALLY see that now!
Another great blog! Keep up the good work!
“Matt i found it ironic that u mentioned ” CBS plants drama by removing Brenchel’s chips from the veto bag,” Cause thats exactly what I was thinking when neither Brandon or Rcahel got to play Veto.”
Ya I thought the same. But don’t CBS love Brenchel for their drama and ratings?
Or maybe CBS read the speculation regarding the whole Brendon coming back thing and they’re trying to erase the obvious favoritism CBS has with Brenchel, yaknow?
Or maybe the whole thing was on the level all along? Except danimal winning the two HOH’s. Those were definitely fixed…lol
Best BB recap out there!
finally someone has laid it all out in a bb blog. thank the heavens. matt you have said everything i’ve been blogging about for the last two weeks.only a former player outside looking in can see the crap bb is pulling.bren rach names not in bag,everyone winning exact prize that suits them. dani has absolute power and has rained chaos and havoc on the house.lie and liars all around.everyone forgets when your up to your ass in alligators the original assignment was to drain the swamp.(vote dani out)she has flipped the switch and created a bb cluster chuck,however,at this point give her the money already,everyone else is stupid game players.my last hope rach win hoh and her and dani make the ultimate deal and run these slugs out of the house. they go final two. dani 500,000 and rach 50,000 but who knows what bb will do next.i can’t believe one player has single handedly altared the course of the game and smack bb in the face as well. best single player i’ve ever seen. evil dick is a boy scout compared to her. come on bb wake up the silent assassin so this script will change. dani underestimated to long and rach is way under rated. hell hath no fury like a womens scorn.its just gonna get nastier.
This may sound blashpemous, but I am happy that Brendon is back in the house and hope that Shelly goes home this week (Yeah, right). Rachel is much less insufferable with her ‘bookie’ in the house. Although those two are a vomit-inducing couple, at least Brendon can control the wild emotional storm that is Hurricane Rachel.
Brendan just feeds the Rachel fire by whining and running after her. She’s not as bad when nobody cares about her temper tantrums.
The best thing for Rachel to do now if she wins HOH, put Dani and Jeff up…..if either one wins the veto….put Jordon up!….Go Rachel!
No if rachel wins HOH she’s got to put up two floaters. Danimal and Kalia are the two biggest floaters in the game. Please I don’t want to hear that danimal isn’t a floater! She is a world class floater.
Well, you shoulda known I would defend my girl if I saw this..Are you kidding?? Dani a floater?? That girl has skills that make the floaters drift to her. BB13 is the Danimal Show and you know it. lol
I was a big fan of you Matt last season. I think your comments are funny…BUT, I think your kinda hard on some of them. I’m surprised you didn’t find Shelly to be a good manipulator in the beginning…I also do think she’s been loyal to JJ, and just said what needed to to the rest…that’s the game. I don’t think Jordan is dumb either, just naive and think she is a genuine and kind person. I’m all for Jeff, Jordan, Dani, Adam or Shelly winning. But want to see Porshe, Kalia and Rachel go! Know Rachel and Brendon might be friends? However, they are just NUTS!!!! I actually was pulling for them when Dani put them up, cause I didn’t like what she was doing, but nope..that didn’t last long!
lol Diabolical Super Genius!
Matt You are more entertaining and intersting than BB13
All I have to say Matt…if you drank every time Shelley cried you must have gotten drunk with all the time your “dearest” friend Rachel bawled…she is such a fake…tries so hard to cry..with no tears..and keeps looking at the camera to make sure she is on…unbelievable!!!! Looks like her boyfriend has had it with her crying…those wedding bells may no ring after all…Ha!
I think Brendon should have been safe for a week since America voted him back in.
I don’t know why everyone loves Jeff and Jordan! THERE THE BIGGEST FLOATERS IN THE HOUSE. Well shelly took that spot but there still floaters.. All jordan won was the H.O.H and brendan and jeff forfetied so she can win. If brendan and rachel go home i don’t think this show will be as fun as it used to be. This season is so boring without them…
Agreed. Without BR the show sucks monkey brains. The ratings will crash if both of them go.
jordan got that HOH because she got a three with a golf ball using a golf club. it was the lowest number slot, no one else got a smaller number. granted jeff didn’t try to get anything better but who’s to say he would have gotten a two or one? chances are he wouldn’t have goten any number lower than a three. jordan DID get the three after all.
We love Jeff not for his game play but how freaking cute he is!
Funniest post yet Matt – very, very funny
I haven’t watched Big Brother in several years, however, the “Brendan-Rachel” relationship makes BB13 WORTH watching. Brendan is a great player, but he is too wrapped up in Rachel’s drama to play his best games. Rachel is just a drama queen – but, it is drama that is interesting to see unfold. If Brendan is not in the game, I’m am just not interested in watching BB13 anymore. Brendan is intelligent and capable to taking home the big money. I’d like to see what he can do if he is left in the house. If Brendan leaves, Dani – the most evil, vile, devil EVER – will control the house because there will be no one left to compete with her. Then BB13 is no longer a game – it is just a mediocre show that I have no interest in watching. CBS needs to keep Brendan in the house to have some major gamesmanship and competition. If Brendan leaves, there is just no longer any real competition. THAT is why Dani wants Brendan out so bad – he IS her biggest and strongest competitor.
if brenda is so much better than everybody else, the competition will improve with him gone
he sucks at the game because he sucks as a person
Right on Ohyeah?!!! Brenda Neander-Tal needs to go. Then Porsche next week, so we can watch Dani tease Wretchel constantly about what’s going on in the jury house between them!!!
Dani is soooooooooooooo annoying! I really can’t stand her! Hoping she gets out next!
I agree with almost everything you said Matt. Except for the part about them (R&B) not having kids. They just need some counseling and Rachel needs to put down the drink for good and then have kids; she will grow up if she stops drinking and gets into recovery!
I think Shelley and Jeff have to go. They are unbelievable! Rachel and Brendan actually come off looking honest and humble in comparison to s+Jeff! And the level of trash talking has sunk to a new low. I thought Brittney was bad enough last year….but these guys all trash B&R. I feel bad for them. They are flawed BUT WHO ISN”T in this house? Jeez. So immature. Hope R&B (I wish he’d stay) would get to stick it to them all in the end and win big.
whats with all the personal comments about Shelly? She’s playing a game her way-you might not agree with her but to call her all those nasty names is WRONG! I would love all of you to go bb and see if you could handle all the nasty comments from people like yourself. Am not a fan of hers but I hope she wins to shut all of you up!!!!!
Shelly seems like a small town mom who got into something that she had no idea was going to hurt like this game seems to hurt people. She said she went down and applied as a joke, sorry Shelly, havent youve been watching? There is nothing funny about living in the BB household. The faces that came through the doors last should have told you all you needed to know.Nowonder you couldent throw your arms around Jordan fast enough.
who wants too hear strategy opinions from matt,the guy who couldnt see he was 4th in his brigade and WASTED the DPOV on kathy instead of hayden?????Put on ur snuggie hoffman and up ur meds pal!!!!
genius is as genius does
Well, I actually fell asleep shortly after Wednesday night’s show began, and didn’t wake up til 10 minutes after it was over, so I am really glad that Matt is here with a marvelous recap. :)
Last week I was convinced that BB, via a brilliant plan of deception, was airing a serial remake of “Cuckoo’s Nest” in the BB time slot. And now, after reading Matt’s recap I think I’m right!!
Because Shelly didn’t REALLY give her veto away, did she? And Kalia didn’t REALLY give away her Caribbean vacation away to Brenchel, huh?
If I look at BB-13 as just a bunch of nuts in a nut house, and TRULY believe it, I think I will enjoy the rest of the season. :) :)
Enjoy your re-caps Matt but please stop with the jokes about Kalia’s weight. She’s a great size considering the average American woman is a size 12. Remember, we all can’t be a size 2.
if you’re fat because you eat too much, you shouldn’t be on tv
I never liked you until you started doing this blog, I laugh everytime.
I can’t believe how bad Brendon spoke to Rachel in the Have Not Room on B.B.A.D. He is a dog !!! No way would I want to be with him..no respect for her.If he is such a GREAT player in his eyes , why is he on the block instead of someone else ??? He thinks that this game is only for him and no one else.I really felt sorry for Rachel for not being able to get it across Brendon’s thick head, that she was going to play the game the best way she could.Now with J.J and Shelly , they are not above being nasty to any one. Shelly DID ask R.B. if they got to the end, if they would take her with them. Than she lied in their house meeting saying that Rachel was the lier!!!! Shelly should go, and soon…with Jeff.I get tired of hearing him brag when he is just as bad as the rest…
First, i agree with almost everything matt says but holy crap dude do you like anything about the game this year or is your job just to bash every single thing that happens. this is a good bigbrother site filled with a bunch of no it all narcisistic people who of course would play the game perrfect if they were in the house. yes this year is not the greatest by far, blame the producers not the players. Most of them are good people. GO DANIELE
GO DANIELE
@ 24 I agree with you ..I think that Danielle is playing the best game of them all.She has it down to a science. I would love to see her win it all.
sorry I meant jay 24
I’m rooting for my girl Rachel tonight. I hope she wins HOH and put Dani’s and Jeff’s asses on the block and send one of them out the door!!!! I want her to go to the finals with Porshe. Maybe she has a chance of winning against Porshe.
My favorite part was when we got to meet Shelly’s wife.
BigBrotherLeak Julie Chen just announced that next Thursday will be a Double Eviction episode!
BigBrotherLeak
By a vote of 5-1, Brendon has been evicted from the Big Brother house! #BB13
matt is a real a-hole. i rooted for him last year (kind of. at times he bugged the crap outta me) but those comments about jordan… so rude and totally uncalled for. she was just trying to be nice, get a life matt!
right on matt jordon is garbage and a total waste of bb space and her little dog or cowardly lion jeff the back stabber money grabber. turn on you and kiss dani’s but. dani will keep you save sure follow the devil and she will treat you well. barf matt got it right.
This s&^t is funny tho, even if the guy does act like a jerk sometimes, you gotta admit it, he is also clever and witty.
Matt u can’t afford to make fun of anyone in bb. Ur own alliance sent u packing and u said ur wife was dying. Ur pathetic lol
This is by far the worst season ever. I’m liking Jeff and Jordan less and less every week. They always complain about “floaters” but Jordan is probably one of the biggest floaters of all time. Yes she is very sweet but she already won. And newbies have approximately 0% chance of winning as the show clearly favors the vets. The vets with the exception of Daniele have 2x chance of winning as they were already coupled when they entered. From such an amazing BB12 to the worst BB ever…
BB13 is the worst ever and I have always loved BB. BTW, why can’t we see the diary room sessions anymore? Are the houseguests told how to play the game during these sessions? Just what are the BB rules. It seems like the live feed is interrupted every 2 minutes and I can only assume it is because another rule has been briken,
BB13 is the worst ever and I have always loved BB. BTW, why can’t we see the diary room sessions anymore? Are the houseguests told how to play the game during these sessions? Just what are the BB rules. It seems like the live feed is interrupted every 2 minutes and I can only assume it is because another rule has been broken.