Matt Hoffman On The Big Brother 15 Houseguests: Dudes, Definitely’s, And A Ginger Conspiracy

Matt Hoffman Big Brother 12

Hello, Big Brother fans! This is Big Brother Season 12โ€™s Matt Hoffman with my pre-season assessment of the brand new Season 15 houseguests. All I know of these misfits is from Big Brother Network’s and Jeff Schroederโ€™s cast-release interview videos, so (as per usual) I probably am not 100% clear on what Iโ€™m talking about. Despite that, itโ€™s always a thrill to be able to pass judgments on strangers, so thank you to Big Brother Network for the opportunity!

Spencer Clawson - Big Brother 15

Spencer ClawsonWatch his interview & Read his bio

In between picking bug larvae and food remnants out of his face-pubes, Spencer is a railroad conductor. Spencer is one of two gingers wearing red shirts during their interview, which is really distracting for the viewer. I smell a pasty-skinned ginger conspiracy. But Spencer does seem to be a true fan, so Iโ€™ll give him some points there.

Nick Uhas - Big Brother 15 HG

Nick UhasWatch his interview & Read his bio

Nick may be my least favorite contestant this season, based on my limited knowledge. His personality and demeanor are inherently grating. He calls himself a โ€œprofessional stunt roller blader,โ€ which probably just means that heโ€™s been featured on YouTube racking his junk on a rail during a failed attempt to grind down a staircase.

My biggest gripe is that Nick seems rehearsed and eccentric when he talks. He also dresses rather nicely and says that he is โ€œmega excited to see the cute little fly honeysโ€ in the house. Iโ€™m thinking that Nick may be gay. Or that he will be sometime before Week 6.

Jessie Kowalski - Big Brother 15 HG

Jessie KowalskiWatch her interview & Read her bio

Much of this interview was watching Jeff and Jessie stare and giggle as their struggling brains fought for a coherent thought. Thus, we donโ€™t learn very much about Jessie other than that she โ€œused to be in salesโ€ and is โ€œcurrently unemployed.โ€ Since that seems to be a solid benchmark for most Big Brother contestants, she may fare well this season.

Candice Stewart - Big Brother 15 HG

Candice StewartWatch her interview & Read her bio

Candice glosses over anything interesting in her life โ€“ like her career as an NFL cheerleader or her stint in the Miss USA competition โ€“ in favor of boring us with details on her job as a pediatric speech therapist. She says she spends her days helping mentally disabled children to speak better. This could be very beneficial to the houseguests on live show nights.

Kaitlin Barnaby - Big Brother 15 HG

Kaitlin BarnabyWatch her interview & Read her bio

Kaitlinโ€™s interview was so drab that from the time I took notes on it to the time I got to writing this section of the article, I had completely forgotten who she was and what she looked like. This caused me to have to re-watch the whole thing again, where I still learned nothing of any substance. That makes a total of 4 minutes and 38 seconds of my life that Kaitlin owes me when she gets out of the Big Brother house. Iโ€™m coming for you, Kaitlin.

Jeremy McGuire - Big Brother 15 HG

Jeremy McGuireWatch his interview & Read his bio

I find that, by and large, people named Jeremy are usually pretty alright guys. In the scheme of Jeremys, this one ranks somewhere near the bottom. He is admittedly cocky, and rattles off a myriad of accolades and self-praise. Also annoying about Jeremy is that he talksโ€ฆrealโ€ฆslow. He is from Texas, though, so Iโ€™ll give him a pass. Plus, not-a-cheerleader-or-beauty-queen Candice can probably help him with that speech impairment.

Helen Kim - Big Brother 15 HG

Helen KimWatch her interview & Read her bio

Helen is this seasonโ€™s mom/wife. You knew thereโ€™d be one, so no sense groaning over it. Sheโ€™s not going to win โ€“ they never do. And if she continues to yap on and on incessantly about her husband in the house as much as she did in her interview, she wonโ€™t be lasting long. In a final test of my patience, Helen rounded out her interview going into far too much detail with her answer to โ€œWhat would you do with the money?โ€ No need to dish us your entire financial planning portfolio, lady.

Elissa Slater - Big Brother 15 HG

Elissa SlaterWatch her interview & Read her bio

The interview I was looking forward to the most turned out to be the greatest disappointment. All we know about Elissa from this interview is that she is Rachelโ€™s sister and that she can do a sort-of decent Rachel impression for 2 minutes. Based on my limited encounters with Elissa, I think sheโ€™ll be a fun one to watch in the house, and a good player on top of that.

Amanda Zuckerman - Big Brother 15 HG

Amanda ZuckermanWatch her interview & Read her bio

Amanda is a real estate agent who plans to use her โ€œcharm and sexualityโ€ to her advantage, and boasts about how she packed her skimpy bikinis. Amanda probably has fake boobs, and weโ€™ll probably be seeing a lot of them this summer. She reminds me of a slightly more polished version of JoJo from Season 14. Although I must question her decision to wear denim short-shorts with a blazer in her press photo.

mccrae-olson-bb15-hg-hdr

McCrae OlsonWatch his interview & Read his bio

McCrae is a pizza delivery boy who not only miraculously passed his drug test to get on the show, but who also managed to throw it in CBSโ€™s face by showing up to his interview with Jeff high as a kite as well! Way to stick it to the system, McCrae! McCrae is my current favorite houseguest. I donโ€™t know if heโ€™ll fare well, but Iโ€™m curious to watch how his game plays out. Also, heโ€™s a true superfan, which gives him major bonus points in my book.

Judd Daughtery - Big Brother 15 HG

Judd DaughteryWatch his interview & Read his bio

As I reel on the highs of the โ€œEast Coast/New Jerseyโ€ trend in reality television finally dying out, I get possibly even more sickened at the latest trend that has seeped its way inโ€ฆrednecks. From Hillbilly Handfishinโ€™ to Duck Dynasty to Redneck Island to Buckwild to every pawn shop and repo show out there, being as low-brow and uneducated as possible seems to be the current fad in American entertainment. Anyone who follows me on Twitter can attest to my claim many months ago that there would be one small-town yokel cast on Big Brother 15 who fits all the stereotypesโ€ฆenter Judd.

In his interview, Judd gives us the option to call him โ€œJuddโ€ or his more common nickname, โ€œJ-U-double D Party Dartyโ€. Sorry if I didnโ€™t spell that last one correctly. Iโ€™ve never been in a situation where Iโ€™ve had to spell โ€œParty Dartyโ€ before. Judd is an appraiser. In case you didnโ€™t know what an appraiser does, donโ€™t feel badโ€ฆJudd doesnโ€™t either. He describes his job as โ€œkinda driving through and looking for different constructions and things like thatโ€. Kill me.

Howard Overby - Big Brother 15 HG

Howard OverbyWatch his interview & Read his bio

I couldnโ€™t get a read on Howard, but this was no fault of his own. Instead of Jeff interviewing Howard, he just ogled Howardโ€™s physique and tried to bro-down with him. All I learned from this interview is that Howard is a youth and family advocate, and that Jeff loves Howardโ€™s body in a way that only Dumbledore could appreciate.

GinaMarie Zimmerman - Big Brother 15 HG

GinaMarie ZimmermanWatch her interview & Read her bio

GinaMarie irritates me in the same way that Nick does. She seems very conditioned, as though every answer she gives is a performance. That could stem from her alleged career as a pageant coordinator (I say โ€œallegedโ€ because any time an attractive Big Brother contestant says they are anything other than some variation of a bartender, model, or actress I get suspicious). GinaMarie is โ€œdefinitely a people personโ€ and โ€œdefinitely wants everyone to like herโ€ and definitely likes to overuse the word โ€œdefinitely.โ€

David Girton - Big Brother 15 HG

David GirtonWatch his interview & Read his bio

David is a beach lifeguard who likes to say โ€œdudeโ€ a lot. He should team up with GinaMarie to form the โ€œDefinitely Dudeโ€ alliance that will be the obnoxious bane of our existence all summer long. David says his greatest strength is his looks, but (as someone on twitter pointed out) he sort of looks like me in a bad wig. So if that is indeed his greatest strength, then David will most certainly be the first houseguest evicted. It doesnโ€™t help that he also let us in on the fun fact that he doesnโ€™t like to shower often. Nice knowing ya, โ€œdudeโ€!

Andy Herren - Big Brother 15 HG

Andy HerrenWatch his interview & Read his bio

Andy is our second of two red-shirted gingers. Donโ€™t stare too long at the blinding skin and the sea of freckles, or you may burn your retinas. All I remember about Andy is that he teaches public speaking, he cries a lot, and he reminded me a bit too much of Jesse Tyler Ferguson.

Aaryn Gries - Big Brother 15 HG

Aaryn GriesWatch her interview & Read her bio

Rounding out our lineup this season is Aaryn. Aaryn is the spaciness of Season 14โ€™s Ashley, mixed with the sweet southern morals of Season 10/13โ€™s Jordan, seasoned with the personality (or lack thereof) of Season 13โ€™s Cassi. She is poised to be two thingsโ€ฆboring and evicted. In a normal season I could see her floating around the house, but with the new twists in place to hopefully curb that kind of behavior, I donโ€™t see that happening. Aaryn says that her biggest downfall is that people judge her as soon as they see her. Add me to that list, sweetheart.

So there you have itโ€ฆanother season of Big Brother is officially under way! Thank you again to Big Brother Network for letting me pop in to offer my commentary. If you enjoy what you read, look for my other entries on this site, follow me on Twitter @HeadOfHOFFhold, and/or visit my website at www.TheGremlinCave.com.

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11 Comments

  1. LOL. Matt ripped them to shreds. So hilarious! Especially the Dumbledore reference.

  2. Well…at least we’ll have Matt to entertain us all season…doesn’t appear that the cast will!

  3. Soooo glad you’re back Matt!…Love your take on things. I totally agree with you on Nick Uhas. Anyone that uses the words “mega” and “fly honeys” in the same sentence has lost all credibility in my book. And the fact that “Boogie” is his favorite player just completes the picture of why i hope he is the first evicted.

  4. Don’t really take this supposed “superfan” credibility on houseguest.

    This is the guy that blew his own game using the veto to put up Kathy when he knew his alliance was going after him & could have taken out Hayden. That move was just as bad as Kalia putting up Lawon, but worse.

    • Uh ok. It’s just a first impressions preview, not an in-depth game analysis.

    • Yes, but looking in the mirror is also uncomfortable for you, so…yeah.

  5. I thought the cast seemed pretty likeable except maybe 3 or 4 of them, I think it’s gonna be a great season!

  6. I dont see how everyone is wanting McCrae to win. Something about him just makes me not like him. Elissa and Nick should form an alliance, they’d make it far.

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