Hello, Big Brother fans! This is Big Brother Season 12โs Matt Hoffman with my pre-season assessment of the brand new Season 15 houseguests. All I know of these misfits is from Big Brother Network’s and Jeff Schroederโs cast-release interview videos, so (as per usual) I probably am not 100% clear on what Iโm talking about. Despite that, itโs always a thrill to be able to pass judgments on strangers, so thank you to Big Brother Network for the opportunity!
Spencer Clawson – Watch his interview & Read his bio
In between picking bug larvae and food remnants out of his face-pubes, Spencer is a railroad conductor. Spencer is one of two gingers wearing red shirts during their interview, which is really distracting for the viewer. I smell a pasty-skinned ginger conspiracy. But Spencer does seem to be a true fan, so Iโll give him some points there.
Nick Uhas – Watch his interview & Read his bio
Nick may be my least favorite contestant this season, based on my limited knowledge. His personality and demeanor are inherently grating. He calls himself a โprofessional stunt roller blader,โ which probably just means that heโs been featured on YouTube racking his junk on a rail during a failed attempt to grind down a staircase.
My biggest gripe is that Nick seems rehearsed and eccentric when he talks. He also dresses rather nicely and says that he is โmega excited to see the cute little fly honeysโ in the house. Iโm thinking that Nick may be gay. Or that he will be sometime before Week 6.
Jessie Kowalski – Watch her interview & Read her bio
Much of this interview was watching Jeff and Jessie stare and giggle as their struggling brains fought for a coherent thought. Thus, we donโt learn very much about Jessie other than that she โused to be in salesโ and is โcurrently unemployed.โ Since that seems to be a solid benchmark for most Big Brother contestants, she may fare well this season.
Candice Stewart – Watch her interview & Read her bio
Candice glosses over anything interesting in her life โ like her career as an NFL cheerleader or her stint in the Miss USA competition โ in favor of boring us with details on her job as a pediatric speech therapist. She says she spends her days helping mentally disabled children to speak better. This could be very beneficial to the houseguests on live show nights.
Kaitlin Barnaby – Watch her interview & Read her bio
Kaitlinโs interview was so drab that from the time I took notes on it to the time I got to writing this section of the article, I had completely forgotten who she was and what she looked like. This caused me to have to re-watch the whole thing again, where I still learned nothing of any substance. That makes a total of 4 minutes and 38 seconds of my life that Kaitlin owes me when she gets out of the Big Brother house. Iโm coming for you, Kaitlin.
Jeremy McGuire – Watch his interview & Read his bio
I find that, by and large, people named Jeremy are usually pretty alright guys. In the scheme of Jeremys, this one ranks somewhere near the bottom. He is admittedly cocky, and rattles off a myriad of accolades and self-praise. Also annoying about Jeremy is that he talksโฆrealโฆslow. He is from Texas, though, so Iโll give him a pass. Plus, not-a-cheerleader-or-beauty-queen Candice can probably help him with that speech impairment.
Helen Kim – Watch her interview & Read her bio
Helen is this seasonโs mom/wife. You knew thereโd be one, so no sense groaning over it. Sheโs not going to win โ they never do. And if she continues to yap on and on incessantly about her husband in the house as much as she did in her interview, she wonโt be lasting long. In a final test of my patience, Helen rounded out her interview going into far too much detail with her answer to โWhat would you do with the money?โ No need to dish us your entire financial planning portfolio, lady.
Elissa Slater – Watch her interview & Read her bio
The interview I was looking forward to the most turned out to be the greatest disappointment. All we know about Elissa from this interview is that she is Rachelโs sister and that she can do a sort-of decent Rachel impression for 2 minutes. Based on my limited encounters with Elissa, I think sheโll be a fun one to watch in the house, and a good player on top of that.
Amanda Zuckerman – Watch her interview & Read her bio
Amanda is a real estate agent who plans to use her โcharm and sexualityโ to her advantage, and boasts about how she packed her skimpy bikinis. Amanda probably has fake boobs, and weโll probably be seeing a lot of them this summer. She reminds me of a slightly more polished version of JoJo from Season 14. Although I must question her decision to wear denim short-shorts with a blazer in her press photo.
McCrae Olson – Watch his interview & Read his bio
McCrae is a pizza delivery boy who not only miraculously passed his drug test to get on the show, but who also managed to throw it in CBSโs face by showing up to his interview with Jeff high as a kite as well! Way to stick it to the system, McCrae! McCrae is my current favorite houseguest. I donโt know if heโll fare well, but Iโm curious to watch how his game plays out. Also, heโs a true superfan, which gives him major bonus points in my book.
Judd Daughtery – Watch his interview & Read his bio
As I reel on the highs of the โEast Coast/New Jerseyโ trend in reality television finally dying out, I get possibly even more sickened at the latest trend that has seeped its way inโฆrednecks. From Hillbilly Handfishinโ to Duck Dynasty to Redneck Island to Buckwild to every pawn shop and repo show out there, being as low-brow and uneducated as possible seems to be the current fad in American entertainment. Anyone who follows me on Twitter can attest to my claim many months ago that there would be one small-town yokel cast on Big Brother 15 who fits all the stereotypesโฆenter Judd.
In his interview, Judd gives us the option to call him โJuddโ or his more common nickname, โJ-U-double D Party Dartyโ. Sorry if I didnโt spell that last one correctly. Iโve never been in a situation where Iโve had to spell โParty Dartyโ before. Judd is an appraiser. In case you didnโt know what an appraiser does, donโt feel badโฆJudd doesnโt either. He describes his job as โkinda driving through and looking for different constructions and things like thatโ. Kill me.
Howard Overby – Watch his interview & Read his bio
I couldnโt get a read on Howard, but this was no fault of his own. Instead of Jeff interviewing Howard, he just ogled Howardโs physique and tried to bro-down with him. All I learned from this interview is that Howard is a youth and family advocate, and that Jeff loves Howardโs body in a way that only Dumbledore could appreciate.
GinaMarie Zimmerman – Watch her interview & Read her bio
GinaMarie irritates me in the same way that Nick does. She seems very conditioned, as though every answer she gives is a performance. That could stem from her alleged career as a pageant coordinator (I say โallegedโ because any time an attractive Big Brother contestant says they are anything other than some variation of a bartender, model, or actress I get suspicious). GinaMarie is โdefinitely a people personโ and โdefinitely wants everyone to like herโ and definitely likes to overuse the word โdefinitely.โ
David Girton – Watch his interview & Read his bio
David is a beach lifeguard who likes to say โdudeโ a lot. He should team up with GinaMarie to form the โDefinitely Dudeโ alliance that will be the obnoxious bane of our existence all summer long. David says his greatest strength is his looks, but (as someone on twitter pointed out) he sort of looks like me in a bad wig. So if that is indeed his greatest strength, then David will most certainly be the first houseguest evicted. It doesnโt help that he also let us in on the fun fact that he doesnโt like to shower often. Nice knowing ya, โdudeโ!
Andy Herren – Watch his interview & Read his bio
Andy is our second of two red-shirted gingers. Donโt stare too long at the blinding skin and the sea of freckles, or you may burn your retinas. All I remember about Andy is that he teaches public speaking, he cries a lot, and he reminded me a bit too much of Jesse Tyler Ferguson.
Aaryn Gries – Watch her interview & Read her bio
Rounding out our lineup this season is Aaryn. Aaryn is the spaciness of Season 14โs Ashley, mixed with the sweet southern morals of Season 10/13โs Jordan, seasoned with the personality (or lack thereof) of Season 13โs Cassi. She is poised to be two thingsโฆboring and evicted. In a normal season I could see her floating around the house, but with the new twists in place to hopefully curb that kind of behavior, I donโt see that happening. Aaryn says that her biggest downfall is that people judge her as soon as they see her. Add me to that list, sweetheart.
So there you have itโฆanother season of Big Brother is officially under way! Thank you again to Big Brother Network for letting me pop in to offer my commentary. If you enjoy what you read, look for my other entries on this site, follow me on Twitter @HeadOfHOFFhold, and/or visit my website at www.TheGremlinCave.com.
LOL. Matt ripped them to shreds. So hilarious! Especially the Dumbledore reference.
Well…at least we’ll have Matt to entertain us all season…doesn’t appear that the cast will!
Soooo glad you’re back Matt!…Love your take on things. I totally agree with you on Nick Uhas. Anyone that uses the words “mega” and “fly honeys” in the same sentence has lost all credibility in my book. And the fact that “Boogie” is his favorite player just completes the picture of why i hope he is the first evicted.
LOVE Matt’s wit and quick repartee…
Very funny summation of each. Should be an interesting season!!
Don’t really take this supposed “superfan” credibility on houseguest.
This is the guy that blew his own game using the veto to put up Kathy when he knew his alliance was going after him & could have taken out Hayden. That move was just as bad as Kalia putting up Lawon, but worse.
Uh ok. It’s just a first impressions preview, not an in-depth game analysis.
This wasn’t funny to read at all. It was uncomfortable.
Yes, but looking in the mirror is also uncomfortable for you, so…yeah.
I thought the cast seemed pretty likeable except maybe 3 or 4 of them, I think it’s gonna be a great season!
I dont see how everyone is wanting McCrae to win. Something about him just makes me not like him. Elissa and Nick should form an alliance, they’d make it far.