And we’re back… another season of Big Brother is upon us. The new BB17 Houseguests are getting ready to move in and start competing for $500,000… BUT FIRST…

Adam Poch on Big Brother 13

Adam Poch on Big Brother 13 – Source: CBS

It’s time for my preseason Bacon/Tofu rankings for each player. Once the season starts, my rankings will be based on how the HGs are playing the game. But since they have not started playing yet, I will base it on their preseason interviews with Matt & Big Brother Network.

Some general observations- they were all forced to watch Big Brother 10 & 16 – since that’s the season that got quoted the most. Everyone understands the “get to know everyone first” method perfected by Dan & Derrick on those seasons. A lot of them said that’s the way they want to play. But chances are – there will be some Brians & Joeys in this bunch. As usual – there are players share similar qualities to previous HGs. And some fit the same tried & true molds we’ve seen over & over. We do have 2 new categories of players this year, Hillbilly Asian & Transgender. I am glad we have these two rather than two more model type recruits.

Besides the Bacon or Tofu – I will also take a guess on how far they will go. I will never pick who I think will win before they move in and I see how they interact with each other.

John McGuire – 5 strips of 23K Gold Dusted Chocolate Covered Bacon* – I have no idea if he will be a player or voted out week 1 – but he gave the best answer on why he was cast “maybe it’s cause I sound stupid when I talk.” If he can keep his annoying fandom down – and, as he also says, “keep his mouth shut” early, he will go far. I think he will be the Judd (BB15) of the season – everyone will love him, but somewhere in the top 6, they will have to get rid of him.
* – this does exist and I have a strip in my freezer now!

Vanessa Rousso – 4 strips of Bacon – I am sure she will be a lot of people’s prediction to win it all because of her poker background. She admits the toughest part will be playing & reading these people for 100 days. That’s a long long long time & unlike poker, she is not only playing against the other HG’s – she’s playing against the house. Those walls can break people. I see her in the jury – and most likely top 6. She will not be the one someone will want to take to the final 2, so she will need to win out to get the $.

Meg Maley – 4 strips of Bacon – OK, maybe I am giving her extra bacon because she is a superfan from the NY area and has been to some of the reality viewing parties here. So of course I am rooting for her. Could she be a Jessie (BB15) and have her game hurt because she is too busy chasing boys? I am hoping not. She has to not fall victim to her craziness getting her in trouble. I see her as first 2 out – or final 6.

Audrey Middleton – 3 strips of Bacon – Ok everyone knows by now that Audrey used to be Adam – and the timing of the transformation of Bruce to Caitlyn will help reel in some new viewers, which is OK by me. Anything to help keep this show’s ratings up is fine by me. But all of that aside, she is a fan, who knows the game, and does not seem shy so she will be able to bond with everyone. I do not see her winning, but final 6 for sure.

James Huling – 3 strips of Bacon – probably the most genuine person in this group. James has seen a lot in his days of the military & as a corrections officer. He will be very aware of what’s going on around him without anyone knowing. He has a chance to go real far if he can align himself with some other strong/smart players. Top 6.

Austin Matelson – 2 strips of Bacon – A big guy with a big heart, shows respect to his girlfriend at home – superfan & live feeder – this reminds me of another player from a few years ago – what was his name? (hint, it’s me!) Only knock on him is he does not seem to think quickly on his feet. How are you going to play like you are weak & then lead everyone in exercises & do back flips in the backyard? He could be a target early so he will need to win some comps or he’s a goner. And I think he will win those challenges. Lock for jury – possible top 6.

Liz Nolan – 1 strip of Bacon. This girl has no idea what she is getting herself into – which will probably work to her advantage. She will be flirty and use what god (or the doctors) gave her to get one of these guys into a showmance. No shot to win, but she should make it to jury. Also, if you close your eyes and listen to her interview – she sounds just like Michelle Costa (S10).

Steve Moses – 1 strip of Bacon – How this kid never compared himself to BB14 winner Ian is beyond me. It’s so obvious that’s why he got cast. Smart & awkward – his knowledge of the game will either propel him to top 6 – or make him an early boot. I see the former.

Jason Roy – 1 strip Tofu – Jason will have to figure out how to stay out of his own way to get far. He wants to get rid of the strong guys early which will put a big target on himself. I like that he is willing to go after people, but you have to do it the smart way. If he can keep his emotions in check, and align with the strong female players he’ll be in jury. That’s too many ifs for me however. I see him out right before jury

Jace Agolli – 1 strip of Tofu – if you mix Hayden (BB16) with a frat boy, you get Jace. I am not sure which side will take over in the house… the chill California guy, or the cocky dbag that will for sure get on everyone’s nerves. I see him finishing somewhere in the middle, first or second juror.

Da’Vonne Rogers – 2 strips of Tofu – She is coming into the house with all the confidence in the world, not nervous about anything. Signs that she will probably be the quiet one that stumbles her way into jury. Although Da’Vonne could get lucky and recognize Vanessa. If so she can rope Vanessa in, and hitch onto her wagon to get her much further.

Shelli Poole – 2 strips of Tofu – I am truly sad that at 33 Shelli is the oldest member of this cast – but that is not why I am giving her tofu. The fact that she had such a hard time answering questions and I predict will be a horrible liar will not make her a power player. Dare I call her a floater who will make jury & someone will have to waste an HoH on getting her out later.

Becky Burgess – 3 strips of Tofu – I swear, I try to keep these recaps positive even when people are not playing well, but I could not get through her interview. I kept falling asleep. If she makes friends, she could make jury, but I see her as an early out.

Clay Honeycutt – 4 strips of Tofu – Calling it now – he is the Devin/Jeremy of BB17. He has crammed a bunch of seasons into a short period of time. This is bad because he has no idea how long the season actually is. I have power watched seasons before, and you get can get through 21 days in one night. Inside the Big Brother house one night feels like 21 days. Most likely to overplay and be voted out way early! Watch, he will end up winning it all!

I am not giving anyone 5 strips of Tofu – and no Tofurkey of the Week yet. I will save those honors after they start to play and aggravate us.

OK – there ya have it – my first impressions of the new Houseguests. Tell me what you think in the comments below. Who are your early favorites? Who do you think will win it all? And most important – who do you think will be the first one out?

I am looking forward to reading your comments all season long. From outside the Big Brother house – I’m Adam Poch!

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