Big Brother 13 Episode 14 recap: Shelly continues to play the best game in the house

Sunday’s episode of “Big Brother” continued to prove two things: Lawon has no idea he’s on a competitive reality show and Shelly is playing the best game in the entire house.

Before I get into the whole Shelly thing, I’ll follow the usual recap format. The show picks up right after Bookie left and Kalia won HoH. The first thing we get to see is that Porsche’s best (only?) move in the game was a complete mistake. She accidentally put Jeff against Shelly in the HoH competition. It was completely unintentional but now she and everyone else thinks she’s playing the other side. So she is. It’s kind of ridiculous and hilarious.

Then we get a lot of Rachel crying and more of Rachel’s stilted talking in the diary room. Those are two of my favorite parts of this show.

Kalia gets her HoH room and Big Brother decides she’s not interesting enough to spend a lot of time on, so they switch to Shelly crying about her kid. Did you know she had a kid? I didn’t know she had a kid.

Because we can’t go five minutes without Rachel, we see her run up to Kalia’s room to try to cut a deal. I guess she’d be ridiculous not to try to cut a deal, but does she really think she won’t get put on the block? Rachel throws out all the age-old promises and Kalia dishes out all the “I don’t knows” and “I’m not sures.” Yada.

Next we get to see Shelly interact, for what I think might be the first time ever, with a minority. I love when Big Brother pulls out the touching guitar music and the soft conversations.

I wish that had lasted longer, actually, because I could’ve gone the rest of my life without seeing Adam strip out of anything, much less an elf costume. At least that segment reminded me he was still in this game.

After a pointless diary room of Lawon screaming, the HGs get to play the have-not competition. They have to mix some gross drinks and make someone drink and guess the ingredients. The team who loses will be the have-nots for the week.

No one uses any really gross ingredients so it’s way more boring than I thought it would be. Jordan almost pukes and Shelly proves my suspicions that she really doesn’t eat food. Seriously, on the Live Feeds, following the competition, Shelly tells everyone she has never tasted, seen or smelled the following things: jalapeno peppers, green peppers, red peppers, olives, yams, prunes and the list goes on. She only eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. A grown woman. That’s almost as crazy as her claiming she “knows her place” in her home and that her husband is her “boss.”

So Shelly and Jordan lose the contest leaving themselves, Jeff and Rachel have-nots. But America, being almost as smart as Porsche chose catfish and coconut for the have-not food this week. Really? Catfish is great eats. Dumb America.

Jordan gets upset, or should I say “FUSS-TRATED.” Aaaah, I feel bad every time I make fun of her. She’s so freaking sweet and innocent that I’d probably let her murder me if she wanted to. Anyway, it was fun to see her angry and telling it like it is this week.

Now for Shelly’s game play. Kalia calls Shelly to the room to talk to her about game play. And before Kalia even has a chance to make her an offer, Shelly makes the offer herself. She asks if Kalia sees the two of them playing with Daniele and making it to the final three together. Shelly really wants to make final three with Jeff and Jordan, So while loyalties are with JeJo, but now she has a final three deal on both sides no matter what happens. And for some reason, Shelly’s secrets never come out. That kind of game play hasn’t happened in several seasons. Shelly is in it to win it.

Jeff shakes his manhood at Kalia and annoys me too much to even write about, so I’m going to skip to the nomination ceremony. Rachel further proves she is NO different this season by intentionally irritating Daniele like a seventh grader at lunch time. Then Kalia nominates Rachel and Jeff. No surprise there. While I like that the game is in full force, I would rather people get rid of Lawon, Adam and Porsche first. So it’s getting kind of annoying how the eliminations are playing out. Maybe the new twist will keep things exciting. Let’s hope.

If you want to know who won the veto, we have those results here.


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