During Big Brother 14 Matt Hoffman & I did a live show called Rants & Roars – on it I would do a weekly ranking on each player, giving them each up to 5 strips of Bacon if they had a good week, and up to 5 strips of Tofu if they had a bad week. When Big Brother Network asked me to do a couple of weekly columns, I decided to bring it back – so here we go…
Big Brother 16 Week 1 Rankings:
Amber – 1 strip of Bacon: She has not been seen much on the CBS show, but the live feeds are obsessed with her. No, not because she is beautiful, but because she is all that Caleb talks about. She has been great holding her own probably because she is unaware how crazy in love he is with her.
Brittany – 3 strips of Bacon: Leaving her kids must have been really tough, getting nominated week 1 must have been even tougher. But kicking ass at the BotB to pull herself off earns her some bacon! Also watching her on the feeds the first day, she was cleaning the kitchen & filling the ice trays. Something I did often.
Caleb – 1 strip of Tofu: Winning the 1st (well, 2nd) HoH was good, making safe nominations that did not ruffle the house was also good. So why did he get Tofu? 2 reasons… 1) his infatuation, borderline stalkerish with Amber (“I see the way she looks at me.”) and 2) he not only killed a hog with a stick – but bragged about it on the live feeds. Yes, I know you have to kill pigs to make bacon, but don’t beat your hog & tell everyone about it! He’s lucky he won that HoH or else he’d get 5 strips of Tofu for that alone!
Christine – 2 strips of Bacon: Anyone willing to film their opening naked is not afraid of exposing themselves to the world. Seems like she has such a great sense of self, so the internet trolls will not get to her. Her alliance with Nicole (#TeamNicotine) is cute for now, but she will not be afraid to get her hands dirty later.
Cody – 2 strips of Tofu. I am rooting for him as a fellow Jersey boy and Super fan, but what has he done so far to get into game mode? Not much. He is lucky there are other physical threats in the house, and can play the “laying low” game for now.
Derrick – 1 strip of Bacon: Duh – he’s a cop… of course he will get bacon as long as he does not do anything bad. We have not seen him cry about missing his daughter, and is not seen as a threat. He is mentally making a file on each player. Waiting to see how he uses it later, or if they figure him out.
Donny – 5 strips of Bacon: Winning Veto when you are on the block is the BEST feeling in the BB House. You guarantee your safety and foil any plans or possibilities of the HG’s voting you out. He’s brought some great comedy to the house, which we will need as you can feel the tension starting to build.
Frankie – 4 strips of Bacon: So far he’s played the best complete game. He’s well liked by everyone in the house, he won the first HoH to show he can compete, worked with Caleb during nominations to make sure he would be safe if his nominees lost BotB, & he’s been there to listen to people vent. His only flaw was nominating Victoria, someone he formed an immediate bond with. You are going to upset people by nominating them, but why “target” a friend this early when there were 10 other people he could have put up.
Hayden – 4 strips of Tofu: Some people love seeing nudity on the feeds… but I did not need to see him strip 2 minutes into the live feeds. I have seen more of his ass so far than I have seen him “gaming.”
Jocasta – 3 strips of Tofu: Ok, I admit, I am no Mr. Blackwell, but this girl has some horrible fashion sense. I mean, a bow tie with a bathing suit? REALLY?
Joey – 5 strips of Tofu: A few never’s for the BB house… Never out your secret alliance… Never tell someone you are coming after them when you have ZERO power… and most important, NEVER let live feeders see your tampon string!
Nicole – 1 strip of Tofu: As the other half of #TeamNicotine – she seems like she is just happy to be in the Big Brother House. Not sure if she has the ability to do the dirty work when she will need to.
Paola – 2 strips of Tofu: Nominated the 1st week, and did not seem to know how to swing. I may be 15 years older than her, but put me on a playground and I will be rocking that swing. Yeah yeah yeah haters, I know you will mock my challenge prowess for that one! Unless she gets paranoid and starts freaking out, she should be safe this week – and then will probably fly under the radar for a while.
Victoria – 2 strips of Bacon: She was able to compete well with Brittany to get themselves off the block. And since she cannot eat bacon… I guess I will eat them for her. THANKS JUDAISM!!
Zach – 1 strip of Tofu: Some people think he is the next Dr. Will. Cmon people it’s only week 1. But he does seem to have a few of his traits. For now he is just snuggling with Frankie, which could just be game. His biggest mistake was admitting to Frankie he is gonna throw challenges. NEVER tell people you are throwing challenges!!!
So that leaves us with Devin… who earns this year’s first TOFURKEY OF THE WEEK! Even though he claimed to have watched a lot of Big Brother while going through casting, he did not seem to process this is a LONG game. He makes alliances, breaks alliances, goes rogue bringing people into his alliance. We see it every year, someone playing too hard too fast. Let’s see what will be shorter, his “major league baseball” career, or his time on Big Brother.
OK kids, as they say in the BB house, it’s a long way to Thursday – so even though it looks like Joey could be going home, and ruin the twist one week in (remind anyone of Annie / Saboteur twist from BB12) – you never know what can happen inside those walls!
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